Founded 1980
Chair:
Secretary:
Treasurer:
Graham Smith
Jan Thompson
Graham Mumby-Croft
A few words from Enid, Robert's Partner
Many of you may wonder how our paths crossed. Robert and I first met when he lived with his Mother and Brother Leonard in Station Approach Road Ramsgate. We both attended the Congregational Church and along with his brother and members of my family we attended the Youth Club there.
Robert was in the Scouts where my Father, Ron Baker was Scout Master. Robert always looked up to him as a Father figure as sadly Robert and Leonard lost their father when they were very young. Often on Sunday afternoons, Robert would be invited to join us for tea. I think my Mum had a soft spot for him.
When Robert moved to Dover we did still keep in touch and have occasional meet ups. Among the things Robert liked to hoard, I came across a letter I had written to him dated 30th April 1968, informing him that I had been in hospital having had my tonsils removed on the 18th April. Two weeks later I was back in hospital having to have my Appendix removed. How he knew about that I don't know, but assume there might have been a bit of my mum's intervention) and what a surprise I had when he came walking in the ward at Margate Hospital on that Saturday afternoon.
He loved writing letters and keeping in touch with people and this he continued to do up until a few weeks before he died. During our times apart there were occasional letters and also brief meet ups if he was coming anywhere near Kent.
My Dad died April 5th 2008 and going from news I had of Robert previously, he was Prison Governor at Pentonville Prison. The only thing I thought of doing was to write to the Prison asking if they could help me locate him as I had some personal news I wanted to pass on to him. They forwarded me his home address (which I wasn't expecting because of breach of confidentiality) and also his e-mail address to which I wrote and informed him of my Dad's passing on the 5th April.
He got in touch with me and asked for me to forward details of the funeral and he said he would try and get down. It was lovely to see him at the Thanet Crematorium on the 18th April. It was at the Wake that we had the chance to have a catch up and I learnt that he had sadly lost his wife to Cancer and he learnt I had recently been divorced, No need for me to say what happened next an old friendship had been rekindled. He made several visits to my home in Ramsgate and as he was thinking of relocating from Cambridgeshire anyway, he thought coming back to Kent was not a bad idea.
He was soon looking for a house in Thanet and settled on one in Dumpton Park Drive Broadstairs where he wanted me to join him and set up home together. He was happy to be back by the sea. We had no intention of marrying at the time, although he did ask me on a few occasions but I thought it was going along ok as it was. It was a large house for just the two of us and so it was not long before we hosted Leaders of students attending the Kent School of English. We spent great times having discussions round the meal table and talking about Robert's job and also them wanting to learn about our Royal Family. Some of these Leaders returned many times and we formed good relationships with them and one in particular even brought his wife
and two children over to meet us and although we didn't host after Covid, he still came to visit when he was over with his group in Broadstairs. He actually saw Robert in December. Lovely memories,
Since being together Robert has accepted my family as his too, my son Michael and his Wife Jody and my daughter Ashley. Michael and Jody had just had my first grandchild Sam who was only a few weeks old when Robert saw him at my Dad's funeral. Then Sofia was born and Robert loved them and shared my Grandma duties with me. Looking after them, taking them out and later meeting them from school and watching them develop into who they are now. Along with the rest of my family, brother, sister, their families and cousins, he welcomed them all giving help and advice if needed.
He enjoyed helping people out and if he could help make a difference to people's lives, he would and he did. He also supported various Charities giving regularly to the Kent & Sussex Air Ambulance Service and the Salvation Army along with supporting children in Uganda as well as helping out friends and colleagues. His needs were not great, he enjoyed helping others. In our time together we enjoyed Trips to the Theatre him sometimes taking me to ones he didn't really want to see, the one that stands out most to me was the Abba Musical. He couldn't understand why I liked it that much, but as a surprise present he took me.
This music was going to go on and haunt him because when they went to the Dementia group and the group had to decide on a song they could sing at the end of each session it was an Abba song. When I went to meet him at the end of the session he was never singing it but at least patting his hand on his legs, trying to enjoy it. We had some lovely breaks away, our favourite I think being our trips to Croatia where on a couple of occasions we were joined by my choir friend Gloria and her husband and my sister and her Partner. Unfortunately our last holiday
abroad was to Croatia in 2019. Covid then came along and halted our holidays abroad.
Robert had to get used to being invaded by many friends and family on my birthdays because he was to learn that I always wanted to celebrate my birthdays at home with friends having open house and he had the task of continuously serving teas, coffees, drinks and cake to everyone, he never complained, I think he actually enjoyed it, but the last two year were difficult for him and Sofia had to take over his duties. He wasn't feeling too well for his own Birthday in June, but he knew I would I would want to celebrate it and make it special for him, so he did sit in the Summerhouse and let us present him with a cake and candles, which he did blow out - (only 3 not the 84 ) and singing happy birthday to him.
Christmas we thought may be difficult, especially as all his family were in Dubai, but we knew he clearly wanted to stay at home, and who could blame him, so my family came to our house and everyone mucked in 9 of us altogether and we have some lovely photos of him trying to enjoy his dinner, just to make us happy. By this time he was losing his appetite, not really interested in food and it was quite an effort for him to eat. However he joined us at the table and we had an enjoyable Christmas dinner together, and then taking part in the present opening afterwards , all the time him probably wishing the day was over.
He had been unwell for quite a while, having various health issues and then being diagnosed in February 2024 with Alzheimers and Dementia and although his dementia was not too bad, it was all his other issues that contributed mainly to his death, having chronic kidney failure. He made it clear that he wanted to stay at home and not go in Hospital and because of that, plans were put in place for me to care for him at home and with the help of the District Nurses and in the latter week, carers and end of life team, I was pleased I could carry out his wishes and keep him at home, and although the last few weeks were difficult, with the help of my family, who sometimes got calls to come and help, we achieved his wishes. I was so grateful I was with him when he took his last breath at 7.40 am Sunday morning.
He is now at peace and thank you Robert for being part of our lives.
Click here for the
Order of Service
 | ||||
Bob Duncan
The Man
