Founded 1980
Chair:
Secretary:
Treasurer:
Graham Smith
Jan Thompson
Graham Mumby-Croft
Home
Paul Laxton
Issue 88 Spring 2023
A WINTER WORLD OF WOKE
We received about 4 inches of snow yesterday and ...
8:00am: I made a snowman.
8:10- A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15- So, I made a snow woman
8:17- My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
8:20- The gay couple living nearby got upset and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:22- The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25- The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose,as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.
8:28- I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30- I used food colouring to make one of the snow couple a different colour and be more racially inclusive.
8:37- Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson.
8:39- The Muslim gentleman across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
8:40- The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42- The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43- The Council Equality Officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45- TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.
9:00- I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic,and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10- I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29- Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
9:45- The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.
10:00- I cry into my drink because alii wanted to do was build a snowman
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. lt is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
PAUL LAXTON
