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MY TAKE ON PSYCHOLOGY
I sort of fell out with a guy from my college days that I’d lost touch with. His sister, by chance, became a friend on Facebook and worked out the connection and put us in touch. The comms between us, though lengthy, was innocuous enough… until we disagreed on the issue of free speech which, to me, exposed him as a ‘right winger.’ We ended up by defending our own case and I could see we’re likely to end our relationship … until I wrote him the following…
“Your current email is quite psychologically biased which I find so interesting. Human behaviour, our interactions with each other, have always fascinated me. I would have taken up psychology at Uni had I had the opportunity but then fate decreed otherwise. So I’ve made an amateur study of the subject. One conclusion I believe I’ve come to is that Homo sapiens are rarely fully responsible for their actions. Should they be successful or failures or, like the majority of us, somewhere in between, we are rarely masters of our own fate.
Whether you believe in the forces of nature or nurture, we’re all born with a personality and the lucky ones amongst us will make the most of their lives. With an innate strength to cope and with the right opportunities, they’ll succeed. This is definitely not the lot of many. The most important ability we all have is the one that stops us all from taking matters too seriously. Often those who can and do make the most of their time on earth have, unquestionably, been lucky. Conversely those who end up as basically sad have not. I’ve cared for people who’ve lost everything, their families, their self respect. And yet they’ve been able to bounce back. Whereas those who apparently have everything such as family and materials are never able, for reasons I find quite unfathomable, able to be truly contented with their lot.
In my own case, I left school at 16. Here I was made to feel an abject failure. Not that I felt any resentment against the school per se. I accepted the situation and started my working life from a low base. I certainly did not feel sorry for myself. I simply saw no other way than to get on with it. This meant that anything good that came my way at any time throughout my life was not taken for granted and was appreciated. It’s funny how often somethings, whether simple or complicated, start off badly then end up okay. The opposite can be the case too. How often I’ve started a task that appeared easy but then fell to pieces.
Our differences of opinions are healthy as long as they remain just this. So often it’s human nature to hold grudges and families and friends find themselves on different sides of a divide that, unless patched up quickly, can become so wide that loud voices are not heard across it. (I like these words! I know I shouldn’t say so. My mother used to have a saying; ‘self praise is no recommendation.’ I used to to counter this be saying that if I didn’t congratulate myself, no one else ever did! I’m seriously rambling so will close… but only for the time being .”
JOHN RAMWELL
John Ramwell
Issue 89 Autumn 2023
